


Duality

by carolinecrane



Category: Big Wolf on Campus
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-03
Updated: 2010-10-03
Packaged: 2017-10-12 09:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He kind of liked having a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duality

In a way he kind of liked having a secret. He knew what everyone saw when they looked at him; the all-star quarterback, future prom king, and quintessential boy next door. Even his parents fit the model of The Perfect Family, and his brother provided just enough quirkiness to make their family seem interesting. So it was easy to pretend everything was exactly the way it looked on the surface, and no one would ever suspect him of hiding something.

There was only one other person that knew his secret, and he knew he could trust that person with his life. Had, in fact, on several occasions, and that thought sent a warm rush straight through him every time. It was better than the adrenaline rush after he scored a touchdown, better than winning in a fair fight, better than even a really good sugar high.

Sometimes it was hard to pretend he was the same guy he'd been a year ago, before his whole life turned upside down. He'd been part of the popular crowd for as long as he could remember, been invited to all the best parties and he never had to worry about having a date. His life had been easier back then, back when he was blissfully unaware of all the stuff going on beneath the surface of the life he thought he knew so well. And every once in awhile he missed it, but even when he was Pleasantville's Golden Boy he'd never really been special to anyone.

Sure, the kids at school thought he was cool and he always got a charge out of the big deal they made out of him when they won a game. But all the changes he'd gone through in the past year had brought him more than just the secret he protected; they'd given him a best friend, someone that liked him for who he was and not what he represented. Somebody that wasn't afraid to tell him when he was getting too full of himself, to remind him that there was more to life than scoring touchdowns and being the life of the party.

He'd always had tons of friends around, but he'd never realized until he met Merton what it meant to have a best friend. He knew now that none of his popular friends – none of his teammates or any of the girls that were constantly flirting with him – could measure up to what he had with Merton. Having somebody that cared about what he thought and didn't assume he was dumb just because he played football still blew his mind, but he knew Merton well enough by now to know that that was just the kind of guy he was.

So he didn't worry too much about the secret he kept hidden from his family and all his other friends, because Merton knew and when it came right down to it that was all that mattered. He knew he'd always have somebody to count on, even if he blew out his knee and ended his football career or didn't make the college team or lost out on prom king to Chuck. He didn't even care anymore whether or not he was still the most popular guy in school, because he had something better.

He had somebody to wait around for him to get done with practice, someone who didn't mind sitting on the scuffed linoleum floor beneath their lockers, his nose buried in some book until he heard the sound of Tommy's sneakers squeaking against the floor. And somehow he always knew without even looking when it was Tommy and not somebody else walking toward him, and he'd carefully mark the page in his book before he shut it and stuffed it into his backpack.

Tommy always reached him just in time for Merton to stand up, a bright grin lighting up his features as he slid his backpack over one shoulder and dug in his pocket for his keys. They didn't have to say anything; they knew each other well enough that sometimes words just got in the way, and the things that Tommy wanted to say would have to wait until they were alone in the lair, or at the very least in the hearse.

Sometimes he wondered why it took him so long to see what had been right next to him since the third grade, but whenever he said it out loud Merton just smiled and changed the subject. He knew exactly what that smile meant; that he'd been blind to nearly everything around him for a long time, but Merton had long ago forgiven him the waiting. Maybe there had never even been anything to forgive, because even though it had taken them way too long to know each other they had the rest of their lives to make up for it.

The rest of their lives – that thought always warmed Tommy from the inside out, and he couldn't resist putting an arm around his best friend as they made their way out to the parking lot. And still Merton didn't say anything, he just looked over and smiled again in that way he had that told Tommy everything he needed to know. It wasn't until they slid onto the bench seat in front of the hearse and Merton had turned the engine over that Tommy finally spoke, and even then he was reluctant to break the silence.

"Last game of the season this weekend."

"I know." Merton glanced over at him long enough to smile again, only this time there was something in his eyes that made Tommy's heart skip a beat.

"You won't have to wait for me after school anymore."

"I don't mind, Tommy." It was true and he knew it, but it still blew his mind. "Gives me a chance to get most of my homework done."

Tommy raised his eyebrows as he watched the corner of Merton's mouth turn up. "So did you get your homework done today?"

"Mostly. I have a little reading left, but I can finish it later."

"Good." He reached over then, curling a strong hand around the curve of the other boy's thigh. Merton's only reaction to the familiar touch was to move his leg into Tommy's hand, letting his fingers dip a little lower to trace the seam of his jeans. He smiled at the sight of Merton's lips curving unmistakably, and for once it didn't even bother him that his best friend was probably trying not to laugh at him. He didn't mind Merton knowing how much Tommy needed him, because he knew that for all Merton's trying to act like it was no big deal, he felt exactly the same way.

He knew everything about Merton, from his favorite movies to the best way to coax those breathy little moans that Tommy loved so much. He knew what Merton's skin felt like under his hands, what he smelled like first thing in the morning and last thing at night, how he fit exactly against the curve of Tommy's spine, and best of all, he knew that Merton was always going to be there. They hadn't said it yet, but after everything they'd been through together words always felt inadequate anyway. So even if they never said it he knew it was true, just like he knew Merton would keep his secrets.

They pulled up outside Merton's house, and Tommy reluctantly pulled his hand away from the other boy's warmth long enough to get out of the car. When they were halfway up the walk that led to the lair Tommy stopped, his breath catching in his throat when Merton instantly stopped to look back at him. After all this time it shouldn't surprise him anymore that they were so in sync, but every time Merton sensed rather than heard or saw him it still took his breath away.

"Why are we still keeping this a secret?" Tommy asked, half expecting his best friend to give him a perfectly rational explanation to keep going on exactly the way things were.

Instead Merton just shrugged and held his gaze. "I thought you wanted to."

Part of him did want to, but not because he was worried about what other people would think. Part of him liked having this secret just between them, like their own little world that no one else could touch. But part of him wanted the whole world to know how he felt about his best friend, to know that no matter how popular or how important Tommy was in school, he belonged to Merton. He felt his head shake before he realized he'd made a decision, and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he took a step forward and reached up to touch the other boy's cheek. "I don't care who knows, Merton."

He caught that smile again just before he leaned forward, covering Merton's lips with his own. It was far from their first kiss, but in a way it was because it was the first time he'd kissed Merton out where anyone could see them. He found himself hoping that someone would see them, because that would make it that much more real. It didn't matter to him who found out about them; all he really cared about was making sure Merton knew how he felt. And if it was just the two of them from now on that made a lot more sense than anything else in his life.


End file.
